If I wasn’t a writer, I’d be dancing at the Moulin Rouge. They’d put me in the back, but I’d be giving it a real crack. I pretend to understand wine lists, but really I might as well just close my eyes and point. I don’t see this as a problem, because I’m a first-time Mum so really any wine will do. I liked my cat until I realised he was more demanding than an actual child.